Sometimes, I think, it is hard for teenagers to figure out what we are doing. We are children in so many ways, and yet some of us look like adults. We feel grown-up, yet to our parents, we still are dependent and naive. We are stuck in this middle land wedged awkwardly between childhood and adulthood. We want so much, yet we don't know the right way to go about getting what we want half of the time.
I find myself wondering, When does this end? When does the full metamorphosis from dependent to independent being happen?
I look at those around me and realize that there is no real answer to this. It is so personal, so individual, and so undefined that it almost is like a mirage. However, teenage-hood is definitely something that is real. Whether it is real due to culture, or because it is natural, I don't know. However, whatever it is that makes it real, it doesn't matter. What matters is how it will work for me. (Maybe that was a self-centered teenage thought...)
What am I doing with these teenage years? Am I trying to become an adult, or am I just waiting for it to come? What am I doing? I try to answer these questions every day. But, every day I look around me and see something that I don't believe in.
Parents seem to think that teenagers are irresponsible, careless, and do whatever they want. The world seems to want to let us, as teenagers (and young adults), to simply be. So many more seem to be not only allowed to do whatever but almost encouraged. It's like society wants us to be mindless.
But, personally, I want to be working to be the best person I can be. Not necessarily striving to be an adult, but striving to become somebody who can grow into a responsible human being. I am trying hard to be somebody who I would admire. I am trying so hard, yet from outside I feel this pressure to not be who I want to be. It is strange and almost jarring. Luckily I have parents and have chosen friends who seem to support me in being me and becoming who I desire to be.
If only the world realized that teens have minds. Even if they aren't the same as adults' minds, they still exist.